I'm a Black Hawk helicopter crew chief on my second deployment to Afghanistan. The mission is a painful bad joke, and I have long been ambivalent about the war.

I love flying, and I love my brothers in arms. But I miss my girlfriend and my family and friends back home.

This blog is my attempt to share with my friends and loved ones (and anyone else who cares to look) any beauty I can find in what is otherwise just another shitty year in another shitty place.

28th January 2012

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‎”Well the chief of police kept the crime off the streets, but deep in his heart we all knew he felt differently. We all knew he was an anarchist.”

This line is from a song by Cracker. I realized today that I often feel the same way about myself, given the overall attitude about Afghanistan amongst my peers and leadership. Am I really the only one who signed up to do something other than ‘fuck these motherfuckers up good for what they did to us,’ or whatever? Am I really the only one who wants to leave this country better than we found it? Am I really doing this job anyway? 

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